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or, Noo Noo goes apeshit.

All characters, settings and any other stuff they can possibly lay claim to probably copyright to the BBC. This story in no way attempts to challenge this copyright, though from what I've seen, the good old beeb that we pay our license fee to doesn't like people like me using stuff about the Teletubbies when they aren't getting even more cash out of it...who cares? on with the's just meant to be a bit of fun guys!

   One day, in Tellytubby land, The Tellytubbies were all asleep under 
the blankets they had stolen from people who had just finished the
London Marathon. This meant they missed something going horribly wrong.
Somewhere deep in Noo Noo's circuits, something went fizz, something 
pop, and all Noo Noo's behaviour protocols went right out of the window.
Suddenly pathways of circuitry long dead flared into life...
"No more of this 'Naughty Noo Noo' shit! No more clearing up while those
lazy little bastards spend their time playing with the rabbits!".
It was Payback Time.
   Noo Noo made himself very busy for the next hour or two, glad of the
open university courses he had taken. He made lots of preparations so
he would be ready when they finally dragged their fat arses out of bed,
when those damn drainpipes yelled at them enough.

   When the Tubbies got up they went out to play. Noo Noo let out a
strange little vacuum cleaner snigger as he spotted Po take out his 
favourite thing...his shiny red scooter.

   Po wheeled the scooter up to the top of one of the suspiciously
artificial looking hillocks. At the bottom he saw Laa laa, playing with
her ball. "Eh oh Laa Laa" cried Po. "Eh oh Po!" came the cheery reply.
"I know" thought Po "I'll ride my scooter down this hill so I can
say Eh oh to Laa Laa again, again again, ad nauseum.". So, with a merry
peep of his horn, Po started to wheel the scooter down the gentle slope.
Half way down the slope, Po started to brake, so he would stop just in 
the right place to say "eh oh!" to Laa laa. But the Scooter didn't slow.
It kept gaining speed down the hill, until it was going very fast indeed.
Po frantically peeped his horn again, but Laa Laa only waved and cried
out "Eh oh Po!". The happy expression on her face disappeared as she 
realised too late that her friend couldn't stop...
   Po crashed headlong into Laa Laa, and the two tubbies, the scooter 
and the ball all went flying.
   Po tried to get up, but he couldn't, his legs felt all weird. He
turned his head slowly, because it hurt too, to see Laa Laa. She was lying
in a very strange position, with her limbs all bent at funny angles, and her 
head lolling, with the twisted scooter lying accross her. Laa laa's fur
was stained all red. "That's not fair" thought Po. "I'm the red one..."

   Noo Noo had seen all this from inside the Tubby dome. None of the tubbies
had seen his little modification to Po's scooter's brakes. The two remaining
tubbies certainly hadn't. They were hungry. They wanted Tubby Toast.
"Tubby Toast! Tubby Toast!" both Dipsy and Tinky Winky cried.
   Dipsy went over to the machine that produced the smiley discs of
delicious toast the tubbies so loved, while Tinky Winky sat at the table
with a sort of farty noise. Dipsy pushed a button, and pulled a lever, and 
fresh toast flew into the air. But This wasn't right thought
doesn't usually go so fast, or spin like that!
   The toast sped towards Tinky Winky, who sat watching it looking dopey
as the toast cam to him. He didn't see anything wrong...the toast was coming
straight to him!
   The smiley bread product hit Tinky winky in the neck, cutting deep into 
his throat and clean through where his zip was. The expression on Tinky
Winky's face stayed fixed, as his head tumbled off his shoulders, leaving his
bulky body sat in it's chair, spurting a little.
   "Oh NO!" thought Dipsy "This isn't in the script!", but he only
thought this briefly as Noo Noo clubbed the green tubby about the back of his
head with his Vacuum cleaner nose, until Dipsy lay semi concious on the floor.
"I'll give you Tubby bye bye." thought Noo Noo, and he dragged Dipsy over to the
tubby custard machine. A bowl of tubby custard was ready for what Noo Noo had
in mind. He lifted Dipsy up, and dropped him face first into the custard, holding 
him down until the bubbling stopped and Dipsy's body flopped,a nd his long antenna

   Noo Noo was over last the place could be tidy and he could rest for
once. Peace and quiet were his! And so it was, until the baby in the sun grew up to
be a teenager, and went super nova because no one understood him...taking all of
TellyTubby land with him.

You are the th person to read this sick little saga.

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